Celestine's Story

I used to cover my face with a blanket the whole day…I was blaming myself for not choosing the right friends. I blamed my mother for not having told me enough about sex.

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I am 27 years old and I was born in Machakos District of Kenya. I am the first born of a family of five. I completed form four (grade 12) in 1996. I was a very good student but could not attend college because of the cost. My father passed away in 2000, but we were mostly brought up by our mother because my parents broke up in 1991.

In 1996, I started to work as a house girl in a police camp where I used to date men in turn for money. I was very young and it was a good way for me to help my mother who was financially in great need. I saw sex as a fun game until I contracted a disease from it and fell sick.  In 1998, I suffered from a throat infection.  Then I got TB, then skin infections.

 
Reaction to being HIV-positive

One day while I was waiting for my doctor, I decided to open my medical file and discovered that I was HIV positive. I could not understand what it was. My mother told me that I would probably die within a very short time, that there was nothing to do.  I used to cover my face with a blanket the whole day.  I had developed a severe skin infection and I stayed at home.  It was painful and I was blaming myself for not choosing the right friends. I blamed my mother for not having told me enough about sex.

It is during these days of darkness and solitude that I started to think about infecting other men as a revenge for what they had done to me.  I started move around with guys who didn’t know me, waiting for them to become sick.  I regret it today. It was not the right decision and not a good reaction to my problem.

I got pregnant then and my partner ran away. I gave birth to my son as a single mother.  I knew it was important for me and my future child to be treated and to be very careful during the delivery. I was put on PMTC.  My son is Francis and the day he was tested negative was a day of happiness to share with my friends.

I have been taking *anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs since 2004. My experience with the herbal treatment is good, with much less constraints than the ARVs. I am taking a food supplement that really helps me to put on weight.

I used red to symbolize strength, yellow in my son’s body means hope.  White makes me feel peaceful and happy with myself.  Purple is beautiful.  I felt I am really beautiful.  What does it mean that I am HIV+?

New found happiness

The body mapping workshop made me decide to bring Francis home to live with me.  This was a right decision. In the last months, my life has become so much better.  I recently got married to a positive man who is wonderful to me.  I never thought this could happen.  When others see my map, it makes them think about who they are as well, deep inside.