Gouri's Story

On my body map, I have drawn my children and a heart because I love them a lot. I want to be like the tree that I have drawn, giving shelter to positive people like me.

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I come from North Karnataka, in southern India. When I was eight months pregnant, I took an ELISA test, which showed that I was HIV-positive. But I decided that I would not have an abortion. I asked my husband to have an ELISA test as well, and soon we found that he too was HIV-positive. We were scared so we kept this a secret and continued to live a normal family life.

But somehow my husband’s brother and his wife found out about our secret. They verbally abused me, and excluded me from every family event. They did not spend any money on my husband’s treatment and he eventually died. They said, “Let him die, we don’t want HIV people in our family.” He was 41 years old when he died, and I was 26.

I was not aware of so many things [about my late husband]. Later, one of his friends told me that he had gonorrhoea. I didn’t know that he had a balance of Rupees 3.5 lakh [about US$8,000 or Euros 6,000) in the bank, and owned four shops and four houses, which were rented out. All of his property records were with his brother. Today, my brother-in-law harasses me, causing me much mental anguish and depression. [His family] took away my son, saying that he had no future with an HIV-positive mother. I think they want to get to my husband’s property through my son. They have turned him against me by feeding him lies. They tell him that I don’t care for him and wanted to give him away. Now he doesn’t know me at all anymore. I pray every day that I get my son back. My mother and my neighbours have stood by me through all of this.

A healthy live with yoga, diet, walking and singing

But today I lead a healthy life. I haven’t been ill. I have learned a lot through my uncle, who organized a program on naturopathy. I follow naturopathy and have changed my food habits. I maintain my physical health by ensuring that I eat a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables and the leaves and juices of medicinal plants, walking six kilometres every day, and doing yoga with another HIV-positive woman in my village. I practice meditation and I enjoy singing. I also practice music every day.

Gouri's map

My life should be like the sun I have drawn in the middle of my chest – giving light and warmth to others. Here are the foods that keep me healthy – fruits, herbs, and vegetables. I have also drawn a big aloe vera plant. I eat aloe vera and drink its juice every day because it is a medicinal plant known to cure many different diseases and build immunity. My children are my life and my constant support, I love them more than anything else in the world. I have shown my daughter happy and skipping.

There I am in my house with my children. There I am crying for these last three years after I discovered my HIV status. I liked my life the way it was before, with a husband and children. Now there is a virus in my life. I don’t know where it is so I made a guess and drew it crawling up and down my legs.

While I did the body map I thought about the emotional problems I went through when I discovered I was HIV-positive. I thought about how I have dealt with all this, and what more I could do. On my body map, I have drawn my children and a heart because I love them a lot. I want to be like the tree that I have drawn, giving shelter to positive people like me.   My future plans include growing medicinal plants and helping HIV-positive people to find work.  I gained such richness from these other women. I learnt how to cope by listening to how others have dealt with their problems. I understand more clearly why it is important to have a positive outlook.